The Devil Has Left Us

Yes you read the title right. This post has proof positive that the Devil is gone (but not necessarily God as he may be the cause).

So how could I prove this when other men greater than me have been stumped? Well it came to me; they all look in the obvious places, the big signs if you will, but The Devil works in disguise (and The Lord in mysterious ways too) so signs of their presence or absence would be plain as day but not in obvious ways. There would be a left-turn and I just made it.

The Devil Left Us

Elvis - Devil In Disguise

Elvis – Devil In Disguise

The Devil left us in about 1991. He was on his way out from about 1986 – or 1965 if you were one of those Dylan fans but I think that was just old D doing his job and paving the way for Deep Purple – but it wasn’t till 1991 when he slammed the door behind himself with Nirvana’s “Teen Spirit” and Jane’s Addiction’s “Been Caught Stealing” as the last bits of help he gave to mankind.

Now you may think this a strange, or even random, thing but the logic is clear: we all know that Rock & Pop are the Devil’s Music. He worked hard on this for decades and did some mighty work like Springsteen, ABBA and Judas Priest but then things started to fade in the Pop Music side of things in the mid-80’s. Then suddenly in 1991 with Nirvana and the end of The Sisters Of Mercy, Metallica went from the mighty “…And Justice For All ” to the slightly limp “Black” and it was all over. Done.

There have been a few blips like Spice Girls and some other fun Pop in about 1998 like Cher’s “Believe” but really since then Rock, Pop and the related festering sub-genres have been a wasteland. There are sounds on CD but it is like the spine of music was ripped out. I have spent ages trying to work out why and it was whilst riding my bike that it all became clear.

The Devil left us so the music he started has no soul, no direction, no purpose. It doesn’t rock.

A Theory

Being a thoughtful person I considered where The Devil may have gone but the only theory that holds any water is that he didn’t actually leave the Earth but became a Born Again Christian.

The reasoning for this line of logic is that Rock records still come out so someone is making it, but it sucks. If Mr Devil was still the driver then music would be good. Different but good. But it ain’t. The fact that it is still in the same basic form but so wimpy could point to the D Evil one having taken up the cross of changes.

Proof for this would most immediately be in the output of the once superb Cliffy Bastard with songs like “Devil Woman” (so great it inspired a Black Sabbath song), “Carrie” and of course “Wired For Sound”. Look then at the difference between Single #99 “Mistletoe & Wine” from 1988 which is adequately righteous but a bit Goddy then in 1990 he did “Saviour’s Day” his 100th Top 40 Hit. Blaaaagh. After that he get Knighted and even released a Prayer.

Second bit of proof for The Devil finding Jesus is that around the time Rock was becoming a spineless embarrassment Country Music took an upturn. Garth Brooks, Dwight Yoakam, Tim McGraw, Gary Allan, Brooks & Dunn… were all hitting their straps. Country Music has always had a habit of holding it’s Bibles a bit too close for comfort.

As we see a disturbing progression in Cliff Richard’s music along with a momentary rise in Country we see the path of the Conversion. Initially unable to turn his back on his greatest creation, The Devil still kept making music but did it in a way that wouldn’t be too great a challenge to his new-found life direction. This was a passing phase as now County is a hollow as everything else. Country starlets flop around like fish on the moon and Dolly Parton is more tupperware than a tranny convention. The conversion was completed.

So how did it all start?

A New Hope?

So is there a new hope, a Skywalker among us who will stand up and shout? It could have been The Darkness as there was a glimmer there but it guttered straight out. Robbie Williams, the same. The Killers, barely worth the time to type this. The Prodigy (well Keith Flint really), ffffttt.

Now at last maybe we have a contender

Lamb Of God

Lamb Of God

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